Funny Baby Products

Getting prepared for baby number two, due at the end of August, has been SO much less stressful than when we were preparing for Brodey. First of all, we are having another boy so that in and of itself just makes life so much easier. But even if we were expecting a girl, or maybe get a big surprise and end up with one, it is still not a big stress. We've been there and done that. I now realize that the wiper warmer and bottle warmer are non-essential items, along with a lot of other items that I thought I had to have to first time around. And maybe it was just me, the first year with Brodey was a bit of a fog, but I just didn't seem to find use for some of the stuff I stressed about getting.

As I've been pulling out our baby items from the basement to set up shop for Wyatt's arrival I've been trying to make a list of stuff we need to get. I seem to come up with very few things. Like diapers and wipes. I keep thinking that surely I'm missing something. Shouldn't I have a list that is at least a page long? Maybe since it's been four years I just don't remember what I need. Well the truth is that I kept all of my essential items like the crib, mattress, blankets, clothes, pack n' play, car seat, stroller, high chair, etc... These are essential items, and I can't explain why, but it just seems weird that I've got 'em all. And I'm WAY to practical to think I need to buy new things. Now I did have to get a new bouncy seat because I sold my other one, but everything I had in the basement or stole from my sister-in-law. She has four boys, it's very convenient to be able to share stuff with each other.

Well all of these thoughts led me to the world wide web to seek out any items that I may want to get just for fun. In doing so, I came across some baby products that have just about left me speechless. I am so happy that I had enough sense (or surrounded myself with others that enough sense) not to get these items for my first baby. New moms are vulnerable. We want the best for our baby and in all honesty have no idea how to prepare for that. So we buy just about anything that is recommended to make our life or baby's life better or easier.

I've created a list of 10 items that I feel are the most ridiculous baby/child products. This is my warning to any new mom or a friend of a new mom. Don't waste your money on these items. I like to think that people have enough common sense to know these items are worthless, but my faith in the common sense of other people has slightly deteriorated as I've gotten older. Here we go!

1) The Babykeeper: Available here for 39.99

I'm not sure what to say about this other than that it is ridiculous. I see many unlearned parents using this in a totally wrong way. Also, you are putting your trust in the sturdiness of the those bathroom stalls to hold up your child? I don't think so.

2) The diaper alarm: Available here for $14

The manufacturer assures that the electrical current running through this cord is safe for the baby. Does anyone else see the cord as a strangulation hazard? How is it even legal to sell this?

I've seen these without cord too.You can't tell when your baby's diaper is wet? Are you too lazy to just check? What happens when baby is sleeping and the alarm goes off? Way to traumatize your poor child. This is such a stupid product.

3) Bebe Bottle Sling: $14.99

Why take the time to actually hold and feed your baby when you can just shove the bottle in their face? That's right parents, you can play Farmville and feed your baby at the same time! How convenient.

4) Pee Pee TeePee: $12

Avoid the inevitable - your son peeing on you when you change him. Buy this set for $12 or save yourself some money and use a wet wipe or wash cloth.

BTW: Brodey NEVER peed when I was changing him. Just saying....

5) Time Out Pad: $22

Found under the Toys & Games section on Amazon.com, now your child can enjoy his/her time out! Complete with lights and music!

6) Zaky Infant Pillow: $44.95


This is beyond creepy and has to be a suffocation hazard. And again, you're too busy to hold your baby? Maybe you shouldn't have one. They do require your attention.

7) Breastfeeding Simulator: Didn't see the price on this one.

This is the complete opposite of the bottle sling above. This is so stupid. I mean really? Who has time for this? I'm all for breastfeeding, I'm actually attempting it with this little one, but come on. If it doesn't work out for me I will use a bottle and not be concerned about strapping myself in for feeding time.

8) Tummy Tub: $42.50

I just don't get this. It's a bucket for your baby? And it's over $40? I don't think so. I barely even used my infant bathtub. Sponge baths and the kitchen sink suited us just fine.

9) Why Cry Baby Analyzer: $34.99

Take the guess work out of parenting. Get to know your baby's cry with a monitor. Is he hungry, tired, or annoyed? Find out with this device!

Please....

10) Baby Butt Fan: $14.95

Dry skin is happy skin! Or something like that. Can't you just fan their fanny with a diaper? Is it necessary to stick a fan right up to their butt? Do you know of a baby that would sit still for this?





And the list could go on and on. I originally had 20 things that I was going to put on here, but I think you get the point and if you REALLY want to see the other products just let me know and I'll do another post.